Just do it

Did you hear that blood-curdling scream around 5:30 this morning, EST? Yeah... that was me. Sorry about that. I stepped on the scale for the first time in 4 months and have gained almost 10 pounds since the day I had the fibroid removed. I'm not a small girl to begin with. This extra 10 pounds is most unwanted. It does tie in with my sleep apnea, but I have to be able to control what I put in my mouth, too. I'm not going to blame my entire weight problem on my sleeping disorder.

Speaking of which, I went a few nights without using the machine. It just seemed pointless to be using it for only an hour a night. Well, yesterday I noticed that all my little aches and pains were coming back. They were clearing up so slowly I hardly even noticed. So I decided okay, maybe an hour a night actually is accomplishing something and decided to start using it again. As I was plugging the machine in next to the bed last night, the man exlaimed, "Yay! The machine!" I just looked at him and said, "What do you mean 'yay machine'?!" And he said, "Cranky pants." I asked, "Have I been crankier than usual since I stopped using it?" And he said, "Yup". So I'm thinking to myself, "Why the hell didn't you say something?" and then realized this is the man who barely says boo to me while I'm PMS-ing because he knows better, so I didn't make an issue out of it.

But now what to do about finding a food/weight loss plan and sticking to it? I've been on Weight Watchers a gazillion times. Sure it works, until my will power runs out. I've tried L.A. Weight Loss, but much of the food they wanted me to eat was soy based so I quit, plus the staff at the particular location I went to just sucked. I've tried low-carb, no-carb, no sugar. You name it, I've probably tried it. And here I am, still carrying around all this unwanted extra weight. Saying "Just do it" to someone like me will likely get you a punch in the face. And that leads me back to that freakin' CPAP machine. The more I thought about it, the more I noticed as I was using it that my view on exercise was changing. So if I keep using it, hopefully it'll keep changing, as will my view towards food. Guess I just need to give it a little more time.

So here goes.